I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
