return my video game
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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