An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
