He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
