My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
