ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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