Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize