Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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