We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
third nipple confirmed
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
