Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
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