He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
