Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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