I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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