would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize