READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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