Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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