I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
