Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
