is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize