I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
