I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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