Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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