This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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