Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize