I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
