i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
