i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
