First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
