I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
