Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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