Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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