I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
3 2 1 whiskey
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize