Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
