Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
