Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
