Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize