The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
