I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
