You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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