i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize