sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
