She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
