I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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