I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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