Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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