Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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