I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
