Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
