She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
