nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
At least life still wants to fuck me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
