never play flip cup with pint glasses
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
