You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
