He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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