Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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