Pants 0. Shit 1.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
