Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
