Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize