Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
