We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
