is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We need a shit load of segways right now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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