I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
