the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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