# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Screwed.edu
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
