There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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