bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize