Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
