you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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