just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just saw a hot homeless man
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Randomize
