Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
this will be a night to untag.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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