Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
