I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
