And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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