It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you remember whose house we're in?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize