FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you win again, gameday.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
