I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
