is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
