Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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