check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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