It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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