I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
