We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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