They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
