there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How external is "for external use only"?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
