today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
